No. 40 - Chile and Easter Islands – Curanto - I'm a Chilian Whiner

Normally I would suggest that for a recipe like Curanto, vegetarians should look away, but this time a thief has saved them bother, as the photographs were stolen along with my iphone. Here is where I feel an uncontrollable urge to whine about what is essentially an incredibly first world problem. So I won't. I know that those of you who have or have already lost one understand and feel my pain. Those of you who don’t, rightly so, don’t give a shit.  

Whoever stole my phone, I’m sending you a great big Culinisation FUCK YOU!

Curanto                                                                                                                         8/10

Curanto is shellfish layered with meat layered with more meat and then more meat and then shellfish.  Traditionally clams would be used but they’re so expensive I opted for mussels instead. Basically you can use whatever meat and shellfish you like or have hanging around. Essentially this is a classic stew, with the added benefit of having ample juice from the shellfish and consisting almost entirely of meat. Throwing in half bottle of wine doesn’t hurt either. Neither does the remaining half.

Serves 4

1 red pepper, chopped

1 onion, chopped

1 kilo of mussels

1 clove of garlic, chopped

1 large smoked garlic sausage, sliced into chunks

2 rashers, chopped

4 chicken thighs

a few new potatoes, halfed

half a bottle of white wine

In a large pot, fry the onions, garlic and chopped pepper in a little oil until soft. Then proceed to layer the smoked sausage, chicken, chopped rashers, potatoes and finally the mussels. Pour over the wine. Cover, bring to a simmer and leave to cook for about 45 minutes or until the potatoes and meat are cooked. Eat with warm bread and lashings of butter.

Note: Normally I would never recommend cooking mussels for 45 minutes and I was reluctant to do so here, but I did and they tasted delicious.

No. 39 - Chad - I-Can't-Believe-It's-Not-Peanut-Butter!

The culinary options for Chad were again 'Utterly-Peanut-Buttery', another peanut based stew or 'I-Can't-Believe-Its-Not-Peanut-Butter' (more suitable still would be 'Thank-God-It's-Not-Peanut-Butter'), fluffy, sugar coated, deep-fried deliciousness.

Needless to say, I went with the latter.

Beignets 

160ml water

45g butter

120g plain four

3 eggs

1 tbsp sugar 

extra icing or caster sugar for coating

palm oil or groundnut oil for frying

In a saucepan, melt the butter and sugar in the water. Add the flour and mix vigorously. The mixture will begin to thicken. When it comes away from the sides of the pan and forms one lump of pastry, take it off the heat and allow to cool. When it has cooled slightly add the eggs one at a time until smooth. 

Heat a few centimeters of oil in a saucepan or wok. Crop a tablespoon of the pastry mix into the oil one at a time. They should puff up and float. When one side is browned flip it over and brown the other side. When evenly browned, drain on kitchen paper and allow to cool slightly. Then toss in caster or icing sugar until evenly coated. Serve immediately. 

No. 38 - Central African Republic - Kanda ti Nyma

There is only so much one can write about peanut butter. Okra are slimy green creatures that become only slightly more entertaining when they have eyes. My bad meatball jokes, you can live without.

Kanda ti Nyma (Beef Meatballs in an Okra and Peanut Sauce)

I was pleasantly surprised by kanda ti nyma. It was one of the better peanut based African stews that I've culinised, helped no doubt by the meatiest of meatballs. Typically served with rice, I opted to make a flatbread instead. A meaty ball scooped up with some freshly made flat bread made the perfect morsel. And no, it's not beautiful.

Kanda ti Nyma (Beef Meatballs in an Okra and Peanut Sauce)

Serves 2

500g minced beef
2 onions chopped
1 egg, beaten
1 chili, chopped
2 cloves of garlic
6 okra, sliced into rings
3 tbsp unsweetened peanut butter
water

Mix the beef, one of the onions, the chili, egg and garlic in a bowl. Shape into little meatballs.

In a pan fry the rest of the onion until translucent. Add the okra and continue to cook for a couple of minutes.

In a seperate frying pan, brown the meatballs on all sides. While the meatballs are frying mix a cup of water with the peanut butter until smooth.

Add this the onion and okra and bring to a simmer. Pop in the meatballs and simmer until they are completely cooked.

Chapati 

I know. Chapati is an Indian bread, but it's a staple on the east coast of Africa too.  And now I've brought it to Central African Republic. Give me a break. There is only so much rice one can take. Besides, fresh bread beats rice any day.

Makes 2

4 heaped teaspoons of plain flour
a pinch of salt
a glug of olive oil
enough water to form into a dough

In a bowl combine the flour and salt. Make a well in the centre of the flour and gradually add water and a glug of olive oil until a dough if formed.

Knead for ten minutes until the dough is soft and smooth. Divide into two balls, brush with olive oil, place in a bowl, cover with a tea towel and leave to rest for an hour.

With a rolling pin, roll the balls out as flat and thin as possible. Heat a dry pan to a high heat and cook the chapatis on one side until bubbles appear. This should take roughly a minute. Then flip over and cook the other side until done. Keep warm or serve immediately.

No. 37 - Cayman Islands - Better than OK Man!

Caribbean curry chicken (bet you read it chicken curry) is Savage, with a capital S. Like a glorified unbelievablely delicious ‘3 in 1’ (chips, rice and curry sauce), except the chips (cubed pa-tay-tas) are already in the curry. Why didn’t we think of that? Good anytime; on the couch watching Geordie Shore (not a great destiment to my character I’ll admit) and not just after the pub. Those Cay men and women have it sussed. If you’re in a really uncultured mood, grate nasty plastic cheddar cheese on top. Mmhmm.

In the Cayman Islands they would serve curry chicken with rice and peas. For those of you who don’t  already now ‘rice and peas’ are actually rice and kidney beans. And the ‘what constitutes a pea’ and ‘what constitutes a bean’ conundrum continues.

Curry Chicken

I used a Caribbean curry powder; coriander, tumeric, cumin, chilli, fenugreek, salt, garlic, fennel, pepper and ginger. I don’t know what makes it particularly Caribbean and quite frankly I don’t care, and neither should you. Just do it.

Serves 1                                                                                                                 10/10

1 chicken breast, cut into bitsized pieces

2 cloves of garlic, chopped

½ small onion, chopped

a small sprig of thyme

1 chili, chopped

1 ½ tbsp Caribbean hot curry powder

salt and pepper

1 tbsp olive oil

1 potato, diced

Combine the onion, farlic, thyme, chili, curry powder, salt and pepper in a bowl. Add the chicken and coat in the paste. Leave to chill in the fridge for two hours.

In a pan, heat up some oil and seal the chicken on all sides. Throw in the diced potato. Just about cover the potato and chicken with water. Leave to simmer until the chicken is cooked, the potato is soft and the sauce has thickened. Serve with rice and beans.

No. 36 - Cape Verde - Not So Foody Shades of Grey.

What cheese just isn't yours?

NACHO CHEESE!

Cachupa, as corny as culinisation and as rustic as rust. Know that when I say ‘rustic’ I don’t mean ‘rustic’. I mean ugly. Cachupa is not exactly about to win any culinary beauty pagents any time soon and if you were expecting any food porn here (Foody Shades of Grey), prepare to be disappointed.  In fact it (and I can only account for my version) was a dead ringer for something that somebody had already eaten, if you understand. I had pizza menus on standby.

BUT...

Once again it was actually fine. Story of my culinisation life. Stew always looks a bit shit and this one was no exception. If there was an ugly stew competition, my capucha would win hands down. Seriously. I googled ‘ugly stew’ to confirm my suspicions. Bitch please, it’s in an ugly league of its own. But like I said it was grand, we ate it, my guests marked it an eight out of ten (out of politeness). It was good soakage before a night out and it was even better when we got in, in a (wait for it) cac(hula)hupa.

Moral of the story? Don’t judge a stew by it’s colour. Ugly never tasted so damned good...

Cachupa

Sounds like a bit of a strange (and as we have already established ugly) combination; bacon, chorizo,  hominy corn, kidney beans, potatoes and then tuna? I left out the cabbage because no one likes cabbage unless it’s with bacon. (I know there is bacon in this so don’t be smart.) And I left out the carrots because there was just no room in the pot and I had lost all motivation. Need I mention the wine?

Serves 6-8                                                                                                 Rate 5/10

2 onions, chopped

2 mugs of yellow hominy corn

1 mug of dried kidney beans

a vegetable stock cube and water

smoked bacon, cut into chunks

100g chorizo, cut into chunks

roughly 500g of baby potatoes, quartered

2 carrots sliced (I left this out)

½ head of white cabbage (I left this out too)

a tin of tuna (do it)

Rinse the yellow hominy corn and the kidney beans. In a large pan, fry one of the onions until soft. Add the corn and the beans, a stock cube and cover with water. Bring to the boil and simmer slowly for about 3-4 hours. You’ll need to keep adding more water and stirring to prevent it from sticking to the bottom. Season.

In another pan, fry the other onion until soft and then fry the bacon and chorizo. Add this to the corn and kidneys when they are done alone with the potatoes, carrots and cabbage. When the spuds are done, you’re nearly there. Stir in the tinned tuna and let’s hear it for ugly food.

Finish with a beautiful chocolate and orange cake that your beautiful guest, Kate brought.

Stay bitchin in the kitchen.