No. 44 - Comoros – Cracking Lobster in Vanilla Butter!

I struggled more with squeemishness (there was after all, a live animal in my kitchen, restrained by nothing more than a mere plastic bag and a couple of  elastic bands*) rather than guilt. In fact, it turns out I have negligable moral quams when it comes to simmering crustaceans. Out of the bag and on the ‘chopping block’, he assumed his defence position, pinchers outstretched and ready. Poor thing made himself as big as possible, as though if he succeeded, he’d make himself too big for the pot. 

And then, it was over.

I felt a tinge of guilt. A tinge. But not enough not take a hammer to his body, dunk chunks of his sweet flesh into vanilla buttery goodness, suck and devour.  Not even close.

* The bands are in place not to prevent them from nipping us, but eating each other.

Cracking Lobster in Vanilla Butter

Against my will (and the wind) we scoured every fish mongers in Howth to find not just any live lobster, but the livliest live lobster. I’m talking the Michael Flatley of the lobster world - we (himself) would be satisfied with nothing short of a jig.  Not a realistic expectation from a crustation perhaps, but at least make sure it is not nearly dead.  It should curl up it’s tail when  taken out of the tank and be very much alive and kicking. Won’t be for long.

Serves 1-2                                                                               10/10  Unbleepingbelievable.

1 lobster

6 tablespoons of butter,

½ red onion,

½ glass white wine

½ vanilla pod

(1 glass of wine for dutch courage, optional)

Fill your largest pan with salted water and bring to a rolling boil (he’s not having a bath).

Take a sup of wine, get over it and but him in, lid on for 15 – 20 minutes depending on size or ask your fish monger. When he’s done take him out and let him rest.  Probably best to stop calling your lobster ‘he’ now.

Saute your onion in a tablespoon of butter. Add the wine and allow it to reduce to almost nothing. Whisk in the remaining butter a tablespoon at a time. Add the seeds of your ½ vanilla pod.

Pour the butter into a little bowl and get cracking on that lobster!

No. 39 - Chad - I-Can't-Believe-It's-Not-Peanut-Butter!

The culinary options for Chad were again 'Utterly-Peanut-Buttery', another peanut based stew or 'I-Can't-Believe-Its-Not-Peanut-Butter' (more suitable still would be 'Thank-God-It's-Not-Peanut-Butter'), fluffy, sugar coated, deep-fried deliciousness.

Needless to say, I went with the latter.

Beignets 

160ml water

45g butter

120g plain four

3 eggs

1 tbsp sugar 

extra icing or caster sugar for coating

palm oil or groundnut oil for frying

In a saucepan, melt the butter and sugar in the water. Add the flour and mix vigorously. The mixture will begin to thicken. When it comes away from the sides of the pan and forms one lump of pastry, take it off the heat and allow to cool. When it has cooled slightly add the eggs one at a time until smooth. 

Heat a few centimeters of oil in a saucepan or wok. Crop a tablespoon of the pastry mix into the oil one at a time. They should puff up and float. When one side is browned flip it over and brown the other side. When evenly browned, drain on kitchen paper and allow to cool slightly. Then toss in caster or icing sugar until evenly coated. Serve immediately.