No. 12 – Australia – Make it a burker !

Choruses of “Gud ay Mate!” were met with my “Alright Darlin” in an Essex accent, in a hula lei and cowboy hat? Australia is one of those countries that just beg’s to have the piss taken out of it (no offense) but, I admit my attempt was absolutely shameful! I am of course talking about Skippy’s Aussie Barbeque Bonanza that graciously took place in Anthony and Noel’s back yard last week. Any excuse for an Alf Stuart impression, some (mildly) funny clothes and yet another piss up (no one could bring themselves to drink, let alone buy Fosters) and of course some vaguely Australian themed food…

                   

It had long been decided that Kangaroo would be the main event, but after weeks of anticipation Skippy decides not to show up, something about him being stuck in France and arriving a couple of weeks late. I arrived all excited about picking him up from the butchers to find that I had missed their call about the delivery delay and walked out of there disheartened and pissed off. However the show must go on; the sausages were bought, the burkers made, not to mention the rest of the A’s can’t be held up simply for a loin of Skippy, so a last minute barbequed shoulder of pork was his replacement. (I have previously joked about Babe being the new guest of honor, but I’m not sure if that’s too far?)

These photo’s are not my own, I’m sure you can tell, and are taken by my buddy Eoin Kirwan. I knew (well hoped) that he’d be taking photos of the night, so I didn’t bother taking any of me actually preparing the food. To be honest I didn’t have the time either and it can be very monotonous, not that I’m complaining. Most importantly though, I knew I wouldn’t include boring marinade rub photo’s when there would be endless great shots of the night. Turns out I was right. I cannot get over how amazing they are (that's why I went a bit over board -  they were all just too good to leave out). Check out his blog at http://visionsandmusings.blogspot.com/

Thanks to everyone who came (I won’t start mentioning names because I may leave one of you out and one of you may get in a huff, not to mention any names – Ronan). Thank you for throwing in fiver, it is much appreciated and means I can eat this week, score! A special thank you to Anthony and Noel who allowed me to take over their back yard for the night, and who had cleared up everything by the time I arrived the next day. It was unexpected but highly appreciated! Thanks again to Anthony Mannion for being manly and manning the barbeque (I’m loving it) with Luke (that’s right, I didn’t cook a thing) and dealing with all of the coal and lighting fluid etc. etc. that I don’t have a notion how to deal with.  Note, the unreal photo’s taken by (my unpaid) photographer Eoin Kirwan, cheers for those. They are savage and put all my other photo's to shame. Last but not least, Fuck you Skippy!

Make it a Burker


Dedicated to Brian Burke after he endured (I use that term loosely) staying up all night and arrived two hours early at the airport to discover the flight was delayed four hours. Come to think of it I’m not even sure that Burke even tasted a burker, who made it very clear he was “only here for the booze”. Spelling mistakes are not my own.

 “in dublin airport, been up all night, absotutely piss drunk....not only am i 2 hours early for my flight but its delayed by another 4 hours, the pubs cant open any sooner!!!

                                                             Brian Burke, 12 July at 07:33, Facebook.

Serves 10 – 12 Burkers

1 kg minced beef

2 eggs

1 tbsp of mustard

5 red onions, finely chopped

2 handfuls of breadcrumbs

2 cloves of garlic, finely chopped

1 tsp salt

2 tsp pepper

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Fry the onion and garlic in a frying pan until soft and allow to cool completely. In a large bowl combine all of the burker ingredients and enjoy squelching everything together with your hands. Divide into ten or twelve and make into 2 cm patties. Oil them a little, cover with cling film and allow them to chill in the fridge until needed.

Rip open a decent burker bun and load with the burker, tomatoes, coleslaw, lettuce leaves, sliced cheese, sliced onion, mayo and ketchup and have a napkin at the ready or at least be outdoors!

Chicken Drumsticks

I’m not really a big fan of chicken and tend to feel that a barbeque should be a real carnivore affair and a collaboration of serious meat eaters tending the Barbie.  But then again, there is something to be said for gnawing on a bone and a chicken drumstick is perfect for this positively carnivorous activity, as well as providing sweet, salty, crispy barbeque skin, yum. I precooked these in the oven at home first because I didn’t trust myself or anyone else for that matter to achieve thoroughly cooked chicken. Raw inside and a burnt crust would be inevitable and the burnt tarnish on the burkers was proof of this. They were just heated up and given an extra barbequey smokey skin. Needless to say you can do this with chicken wings, thighs or whatever although skin is essential.

Makes 15 drumsticks

15 drumsticks or about 2kg

2 tbsp sesame oil

4 tbsp honey

4 tbsp sweet chilli sauce

2 tbsp light soya sauce

a decent piece of ginger, grated

1 tsp english mustard.

Preheat the oven to 200 degrees. In a bowl mix all of the above ingredients except the chicken drumsticks. Put the drumsticks in a suitable baking tray and cover with the marinade. Mix everything thoroughly with you hand making sure it coats inch of the chicken. Pop the tray in the oven for about an hour or until the chicken skin is blistered and crispy. I kept turning them every twenty minutes or so to ensure that all side would be crispy on all sides.

Barbeque Pork Belly

Skippy’s understudy Babe, became the guest of honor after I got this recipe from an Australian griller’s website. It didn’t hurt that it’s really simple to prepare and takes virtually no looking after once it is on the barbeque (when I say barbeque I mean my oven, cheating I know). It just a shoulder of pork on the bone, rubbed all over with a dry barbeque rub and cooked slowly for eight to ten hours, at a very low temperature. The result is a really sweet, spicy and blackened crust on the outside and pork that falls and pulls apart with a fork on the inside. The shoulder bone comes out spotlessly clean. Savage in a soft bap with some hot sauce and coleslaw, the way the Aussie recommended it. It’s not exactly the type of thing you can pull out of the bag last minute but if you know in advance, it’s a great one to feed the masses - my poor mans version of a pig on a spit. It’s a certified crowd pleaser and plenty of oh’s and ah’s resonated around the back of Mannion’s and Noel’s when it was unveiled up. Fuck Skippy.

1 shoulder of pork

apple juice for basting

For the rub

2 tbsp Salt

¼ cup brown sugar

1 tbsp garlic powder

5 tbsp paprika

1 tbsp black pepper

1 tbsp chili powder

Preheat oven to 120 degrees. Mix the rub ingredients together and cover the pork shoulder entirely, rubbing it in with your fingers and getting it into every crevice. Put into the oven with a dish of water to stop the oven from drying out too much. Baste every hour or two hours with apple juice for between eight and ten hours. The outside will go completely black but this is normal.

Take out of the oven and wrap very well with tin foil. Let rest for two hours. Carve up and serve in soft baps with hot sauce and coleslaw. Delicious!!!!!

Potato Salad

This recipe is does not really deserve to be here as it is so simple but I do love a bit of potato salad and you’d be surprised the amount of people who ask what is in it! I do love a bit of potato salad in a burker (with extra mayonnaise of course). Double carbs – yes!

Cook potatoes and while still warm add a colossal amount of salt and pepper, chopped spring onion and half mix, half mash in as much mayonnaise as your conscious will allow you!!!

Coleslaw


Although potato salad is not for the calories conscious, you can eat as much of this particular coleslaw as you like. It involves my new favorite instrument of choice, a cheese grater, but not the one you’re thinking of, the one for making shavings of cheese (I didn’t even know I owned one of these bad boys, so have a look). I have made coleslaw using the grater attachment on my blender (using the blender means you get big massive lumps of onion and then pulverized carrot ), but chopping, slicing and shaving everything yourself means you get a far superior coleslaw. It’s really chunky, refreshing and zingy and nothing like the soggy mayonnaise drenched stuff you buy in the shops (although that does have its place). It always pissed me off how coleslaw does not count as one of the (rank) two salad and one meat rolls you get in Centra – you know the one I mean. This makes no sense to me. Finally, hurray for coleslaw that means we’re well on our way to our five a day!

½ white cabbage, shredded as thinly as possible by your good self

4 carrots, peeled and shredded using the cheese grater (careful of fingers)

2 onions, sliced as thinly as possible.

A few large tablespoons of greek yogurt

A splash of white wine vinegar

A couple tablespoons of maple syrup

Salt and Pepper

Throw all of the ingredients into a bowl and mix everything together using you hands to ensure all the veggies are coated in the dressing. Taste to see if the balance between zingy and sweet is right and add maple syrup and vinegar accordingly. The same can be said for the greek yogurt, if you like it creamier add some more.