No 49. - Cuba - It's Cubi-on Sandwich!

Unless it’s a rant about Eurovision you want (of which I have much to rant about, none of which is anything you don’t already know (funny eyebrows, dubstep), nor has anything to do with food or Cuba) this post is about a bloody big cheese and ham sandwich (and mojoitos).

The Cuban Sandwich 

I actually bought all the meat and cheese for this is a Polish deli. I just pointed to things and was too embarrassed to correct the girl when she picked up the wrong thing and gave me the wrong quantity (200g of ham not 300g). We’ve all been there. Pure raging. What I made is thus (loosely) based on a Cuban sandwich. The bread is a (good) French baguette.

I’m sure you can do much better. 

Ingredients:

Loaf of Cuban bread

300g swiss cheese 

300g sliced pork

200g ham

pickles and mustard

1.  Make a sandwich. Best recipe ever.

No. 48 - Croatia - Povitica - 2 Cups 1 Girl

"Ok I need a cup. Is this a cup? How much is a cup exactly? This is a mug. And this tea cup looks ridiculously small. A cup is 128g of sugar [Google]. How do I know how much is 128g of sugar? Well this is a 200g packet of walnuts. 128g of sugar is how many teaspoons? 1 teaspoon is 5g [Google]. But not of sugar, of flour. Ok, lets start again. How much is in a pint glass, we definitely have one of those. Or is this actually a pint glass? Maybe this is 500ml? A can like? No, it’s definitely a pint glass. You definitely get a pint of Guinness. Well I think 1 pint is 556ml? 1 pint is 473ml [Google]. That’s not right. Oh no wait, that’s a US pint. Are they different? Must be. 1 imperial pint is 568.261ml [Google]. Thats more like it. I'm afraid we are going to have to use maths. This here pint glass (Guinness) is our KNOWN quantity. But we don’t need 1 pint, we need 1 cup. So, if 1 pint is 568ml and 1 (US) cup is 236.588ml [Google] then 1 pint (568ml) divided by 1 cup (237ml) equals 2.4. 1 pint divided by 1 cup equals 2.4. So 2.4 times 1 cup equals 1 pint.

We need a cup that when filled 2.4 times, fits perfectly into this pint glass. 

 

Mug. Too Big.

Other mug. Too Big

Teacup. Too small.

Jam jar. Too Big.

Teacup again. Too Small.

There must be something around here that's a cup.

This isnt fun any more. I don’t care, I’m just going to use the fecking teacup."

 

 This folks, is what happens when after you embark on what appears to be like as intimidatly complex and ambitious recipe that you haven’t even been able to read to the end off and you realise that your weighing scales is out of order (battery gone, suprising let me assure you) and you have previously sacraficed your only measuring jug in some wanton arts and crafts persuit.

The key to baking, we are told, is to be absolutely accurate. To be a successful baker all one must be able to do is follow instructions to the letter and have the dicipline to measure ingredients to the exact gm.

It’s all Bollox. Any cup will do.
(But if in doubt, a pint glass should fill your cup roughly 2.5 times)

Povitica (Walnut Chocolate Bread)

Don't let my ranting put you off. The making of this bread was not nearly as difficult as finding a cup. It's like a brioche filled will Nutella made from walnuts instead of hazelnuts but not as sweet.
There are quite a few steps but there is absolutely nothing taxing about this recipe. If you have a few hours to spare give it a go. It's very impressive even if I do say so myself. Cutting into it is extremely satisfying and the bread itself extremely forgiving.

To activate the Yeast:

½ tsp sugar

¼ tsp all purpose flour

2 tbsp warm water

1½ tsp dry yeast

Dough:

½ Cup milk

3 tbsp sugar

¾ tsp salt

1 large egg

1/2 vanilla bean, scraped of seeds

1 tbsp unsalted butter, melted

2 cups all-purpose flour

1 egg white and granulated sugar to brush and scatter on top

Walnut Filling:

1¾ cups walnuts, ground

¼ cup milk

¼ Cup  unsalted butter

1 egg yolk, beaten with fork

½ vanilla bean, scraped

½ Cup  sugar

2 tbsp unsweetened cocoa powder

Dough:

In a small bowl, stir sugar, flour, and the yeast into warm water and cover with plastic wrap.
Allow to stand for 5 minutes.
Meanwhile in a cup, heat the milk up in the microwave so that it is hot but not boiling. In a large bowl, mix the milk, sugar, and the salt until combined. Add the beaten eggs, yeast mixture, melted butter, and a couple of tablespoons of cups of flour. Blend thoroughly and slowly add remaining flour, mixing well until the dough starts to clean the bowl. Turn dough out onto floured surface and knead, gradually adding flour a little at a time, until smooth and does not stick. Place dough in a bowl, cover loosely with a layer of plastic wrap and then a kitchen towel and let rise an hour and a half in a warm place, until doubled or tripled in size. Get on with making the filling. 

Filling:
Heat the milk and butter in the microwave until the butter has melted. Throw all of the filling ingredients (above) into a blender and blend until you get a spreadable consistency. You may need to add more milk. 


Assembly:
Place the dough on a lightly floured table and roll the dough out with a rolling pin, starting in the middle and working your way out, until it is as big as you think it will stretch. Then stretch it some more. Brush 1 to 1.5 teaspoons of melted butter on top. Spread your walnut mix out so that it covers the entire sheet of dough. Carefully or whatever way you can manage, roll up the dough so that you get one long sausage. If you can, knot the dough so that it forms a figure of 8. This is not necessarily essential but makes you feel like a master baker. Place your loaf in a greased bread tin. Brush with beaten egg and scatter with granulated sugar.  Cover and allow the dough to rest for 15 minutes. 

Bake in a 180°C oven for 15 minutes. Reduce the heat to 150°C and bake for a further 30 - 40 minutes until the bread is cooked. Leave to cool in it's tin to prevent it from collapsing. 

Finally it's time to cut a slice to see what the hell it is on the inside! 

No. 47 - Cote d'Ivoire - Kedjenou - Kedjenou pronounce it?

Tempting as it is, I will not make pun of the poor chicken in this recipe. Surely in this day and age, chickens should feel free to cross roads without having their motives questioned. They will not bear the brunt of any bad jokes today.

Only the brunt of my father and a sharp knife.

Kedjenou

A stew by any other name, Kedjenou is Côte d'Ivoire or Ivory Coast’s national dish. It’s the quintessential example of many countries traditional fare, the sort of cooking that has become a bit of a recurring theme. Take local easily sourced ingredients, bung it all into a pot and apply heat. The result is succulent falling-of-the-bone chicken and a delicious broth with a slight kick of chili.

Kedjenou (pronunciation unknown) is by no means ‘impressive’ or ‘ground-breaking’ but it makes damned good dinner.

1 whole chicken, cut into serving pieces

1 aubergine, peeled and cubed

3 tomatoes, roughly chopped

2 onions, sliced

2 chili’s, sliced

2 cloves of garlic, chopped

1 tablespoon of thyme

2 bay leafs

salt and pepper

Preheat your oven to 160°C. After you have tackled dissecting your chicken into drumstick, thigh, wings and breast, throw all of the above ingredients into an oven-proof dish with a tight fitting lid.  Seal with a few extra layers of tinfoil just to make sure. Bung everything in the oven for 2 hours and serve with couscous or rice. Easy as.

No. 46 - Costa Rica - Let's tico taco bout it!

I’m sorry, but Jamie Oliver I just whooped. your. ass. at tacos. 

That is all.

Seriously though, I’m sure there is something else I can think to say about these tacos. 

No,  I can’t think of anything.  Except I want some. That and it's ridiculously fun to say tico taco (with a Mexican accent).

Ticos Tacos

For the Shredded beef:

1 kg beef chuck

1 tbsp cumin

1 tbsp smoked paprika

1 tbsp chili powder

3 cloves of garlic, peeled and chopped

salt and pepper

1 stock cube (for good measure)

Tacos:

White cabbage, shredded

Tomato, chopped

Tortilla wraps

Coriander

Grated cheddar

Tabasco

Taco Sauce (Big 4 sauce last time I checked):

4 tbsp tomato ketchup

4 tbsp mayonnaise

1 tsp mustard

juice of ½ lemon

dash of Worchester sauce

In a large ovenproof pot with a tight fitting lid, sear the beef on all sides in oil until brown. Throw in the rest of the ‘shredded beef’ ingredients along with enough water to almost cover the beef. Bring to a simmer and pop in the oven (130) for 2 – 3 hours, until meltingly tender and falling apart. Remove the beef and reduce the remaining juice until it’s nice and thick. You should probably skim the fat of at this point but I won’t tell anybody if you don’t. Shred the beef, return to the juices and give it a good toss.

Lay out your tortilla wraps and spoon on some of the shredded beef, ensuring that there is not too much excess liquid (you don’t want your tortillas going soggy before you taco them). Fold the tortilla over so you have a crescent shape. Heat a dry pan on a medium heat and lay your tortilla in carefully. When it has browned nicely and crisped up turn it over and do exactly the same with the other side.

Top with shredded cabbage (not to be underestimated), tomato, tico taco sauce (just mix all the tico taco sauce ingredients together), coriander and tabasco if you are that way inclined.