After a long day of flat hunting, smelly van endurance, missed viewings and late estate agents, the first fing I needed when I got in was a glass of wine. And the last fing? A pork fing. I was too tired to cook, yet too hungry to contemplate not eating. We’ve all been there and it’s this situation precisely, that make’s dodgy takeaways an absolute fortune. And no Jamie, sometimes we don’t even have 30 minutes to make a meal, let alone a two course one, like that’s possible for mortals anyway. Upon learning that pork fing potentially takes an hour and half to (there’s that word again) stew, I hate to say it but a wok in a box was looking like our best bet. I was under the impression that all Asian food was fast, another extremely wrong generalisation on my part. Oh Culinisation, how you enlighten me.
Somehow, a few timing tweaks, a pot too small for the noodles (damn all you too-small-pots), a broken wine glass (empty at least) and a mini breakdown later, pork fing was on the table. Just.
Pork Fing
Bhutan is renowned for its love affair with chili’s, but we had a korma eater in our midst and so I halved the number of chili’s required by the recipe. The resulting pork fing was boring yet comforting after the day we’d had. There's not really that much to it. You really need those chili’s to spice up the otherwise bland noodle and pork combo, although really I put the bland factor down to my own impatience, tiredness, unwillingness to follow the authentic recipe (I barely glanced at it) and my I-just-do-not-give-a-shit-anymore attitude. Turns out a splash of soya sauce and a drizzle of sweet chili sauce was just the ticket anyway. I would definitely recommend making this, and I will again. Next time, however I’ll unleash the chili beast and won’t have to worry about dodgy areas, security deposits and landlord references.
A flat was secured the next day, by the way (although I don’t want to jinx anything) and the kitchen is amazing! I’m moving up in the world!
Serves 3
3 pork chops, cut into chunks
a nice knob of butter
rice or cellophane noodles
2 tomatoes, chopped
1 onions, chopped
1 ½ chili’s, seeds removed and cut into strips (add as many as you dare, 3 or 4 would do nicely)
about a cup of water
half a head of broccoli, cut into florets (optional)
salt and pepper
Fry up the onion, tomatoes and pork in the butter. Add the water, salt and pepper and simmer for about an hour and a half. (I however completely skipped this and lacking patience only just waited for the pork to be cooked through) Then add the florets or broccoli and when they are cooked but still crunchy, throw in the noodles and sliced chili. Give it all a toss and serve in bowls with soya sauce and sweet chili sauce, if like me you’re not afraid to waver from authenticity for authenticity’s sake.
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