No. 44 - Comoros – Cracking Lobster in Vanilla Butter!

I struggled more with squeemishness (there was after all, a live animal in my kitchen, restrained by nothing more than a mere plastic bag and a couple of  elastic bands*) rather than guilt. In fact, it turns out I have negligable moral quams when it comes to simmering crustaceans. Out of the bag and on the ‘chopping block’, he assumed his defence position, pinchers outstretched and ready. Poor thing made himself as big as possible, as though if he succeeded, he’d make himself too big for the pot. 

And then, it was over.

I felt a tinge of guilt. A tinge. But not enough not take a hammer to his body, dunk chunks of his sweet flesh into vanilla buttery goodness, suck and devour.  Not even close.

* The bands are in place not to prevent them from nipping us, but eating each other.

Cracking Lobster in Vanilla Butter

Against my will (and the wind) we scoured every fish mongers in Howth to find not just any live lobster, but the livliest live lobster. I’m talking the Michael Flatley of the lobster world - we (himself) would be satisfied with nothing short of a jig.  Not a realistic expectation from a crustation perhaps, but at least make sure it is not nearly dead.  It should curl up it’s tail when  taken out of the tank and be very much alive and kicking. Won’t be for long.

Serves 1-2                                                                               10/10  Unbleepingbelievable.

1 lobster

6 tablespoons of butter,

½ red onion,

½ glass white wine

½ vanilla pod

(1 glass of wine for dutch courage, optional)

Fill your largest pan with salted water and bring to a rolling boil (he’s not having a bath).

Take a sup of wine, get over it and but him in, lid on for 15 – 20 minutes depending on size or ask your fish monger. When he’s done take him out and let him rest.  Probably best to stop calling your lobster ‘he’ now.

Saute your onion in a tablespoon of butter. Add the wine and allow it to reduce to almost nothing. Whisk in the remaining butter a tablespoon at a time. Add the seeds of your ½ vanilla pod.

Pour the butter into a little bowl and get cracking on that lobster!

No. 40 - Chile and Easter Islands – Curanto - I'm a Chilian Whiner

Normally I would suggest that for a recipe like Curanto, vegetarians should look away, but this time a thief has saved them bother, as the photographs were stolen along with my iphone. Here is where I feel an uncontrollable urge to whine about what is essentially an incredibly first world problem. So I won't. I know that those of you who have or have already lost one understand and feel my pain. Those of you who don’t, rightly so, don’t give a shit.  

Whoever stole my phone, I’m sending you a great big Culinisation FUCK YOU!

Curanto                                                                                                                         8/10

Curanto is shellfish layered with meat layered with more meat and then more meat and then shellfish.  Traditionally clams would be used but they’re so expensive I opted for mussels instead. Basically you can use whatever meat and shellfish you like or have hanging around. Essentially this is a classic stew, with the added benefit of having ample juice from the shellfish and consisting almost entirely of meat. Throwing in half bottle of wine doesn’t hurt either. Neither does the remaining half.

Serves 4

1 red pepper, chopped

1 onion, chopped

1 kilo of mussels

1 clove of garlic, chopped

1 large smoked garlic sausage, sliced into chunks

2 rashers, chopped

4 chicken thighs

a few new potatoes, halfed

half a bottle of white wine

In a large pot, fry the onions, garlic and chopped pepper in a little oil until soft. Then proceed to layer the smoked sausage, chicken, chopped rashers, potatoes and finally the mussels. Pour over the wine. Cover, bring to a simmer and leave to cook for about 45 minutes or until the potatoes and meat are cooked. Eat with warm bread and lashings of butter.

Note: Normally I would never recommend cooking mussels for 45 minutes and I was reluctant to do so here, but I did and they tasted delicious.

No. 20 - Pulling a Mussel in Belgium!

I was so excited about being able to eat chips and them being an actual national dish, meaning that I didn’t have to pretend or twist a countries national dish to suit myself! Rice and beans, beans and rice - I cannot deal with the disappointment of researching another country and finding out that their national dish is beans and rice anymore. Mussels and chips, I can deal with. Get in Europe!  Not to mention, I was able to continue on my hunter-gatherer buzz and go scavenging for the mussels on the beach. There were no Kodak moments due to fear of muddy hands mucking up the camera. It has had a rough time over the past couple of years, a few nasty falls and one particular dunk into a pint of Carlsberg.  Cautious me.  However despite my caution on the beach, in my hurried frenzy to dive into my bowl of mussels and chips, I ended up dunking it into the mayonnaise. I would have taken a photo of that too but, well, you know.

Moules et Frites

Not your average chip and by far the poshest, and most time consuming fish and chips I have ever, and will ever make.  Mussels and chips sound simple, but when you gather, scrub, debeard, soak and scrub again the mussels yourself, not to mention soak, dry, fry once, cool and then fry again the chips - it takes  all day. But these chips are unbelievable and definitely worth the effort. Wikipedia informs me that Belgium boasts having invented the chip in 1680 - when the rivers froze over and they couldn’t catch any fish they fried sticks of potato instead. Thus Belgium’s chips are supposedly the best in the world and I think  that these particular ones are definite contenders. They take chips very seriously  and rightly so. I was of the opinion that you should just leave chips to the professionals i.e. chippers  – they know chips. Not anymore, these chips far surpassed any takeaway I’ve ever had. Golden and crisp on the outside, soft and fluffy on the inside – they were absolute perfection. Oh, the joy of chips.

That brings me to the mussels and what can I about those? Mussels are mussels and I love them, especially with white wine and garlic. That lovely salty juice is a perfect accompaniment to the perfect chip. The chips really did steal the show. Don’t believe me? Then make them.

Serves 4

Moules

2 kg mussels, debearded , soaked and scrubbed.

1 glass of white wine

2 cloves of garlic, finely chopped

50g unsalted butter

bunch of parsley, chopped

black pepper

Put the mussels in a pot with the white wine. Cover and bring the wine to a boil and  then simmer for a view minutes until the mussels are all open. Remove the mussels and set aside. Strain the liquid through a sieve and return to the pan.  Throw in the garlic, pepper and whisk in the butte and half the parsley. Get yourself four bowls and fill them with mussels. Ladle on the juices  and sprinkle with the remaining parsley and serve with a wedge of lemon and the frites.

Frites

8 – 10 potatoes, peeled and cut into chips

oil for deep frying

salt

Soak the chips in cold water for half an hour to remove the starch. Dry them thoroughly on a tea towel.

Heat oil to 130 degrees (I didn’t have a deep fat fryer so had to heat the oil in a wok and just guessed the temperature) . Fry the chips in two batches until the potato is completely cooked through but not browned. Set to drain on kitchen paper and allow to cool.

Once the chips have cooled, heat the oil again, this time to the higher temperature of 190 degrees. Fry the chips in two batches like before. This time the chips will turn a golden brown colour.  Once golden and crispy, drain on kitchen paper and serve with a sprinkling of salt and mayonnaise. Un-believable!