No. 13 - Austria - Don’t be a Weiner!

The perfect solitary supper and an indulgent treat for one - perfect if you fancy spoiling yourself, kicking back and enjoying the luxury of a veal chop home alone. This was the dream, but when I asked for a veal chop in the butchers, I couldn’t believe my ears when he weighed it and said it came to €6.15! For a skinny wee veal chop! Needless to say, I looked from the butcher, to the veal chop and back to my designated €5 note and hesitated for probably an embarrassing length of time. The butcher sensing my skepticism agreed that it was a bit expensive so I didn’t feel to bad sending it back to be replaced with a lousy pork chop. Another time, he said, when you want to treat yourself. Problem is, when I want to treat myself I buy a steak.

I wanted to translate the name of the recipe from wiener schnitzel (veal coated in breadcrumbs and fried) to the equivalent pork coated in breadcrumbs and fried. I discovered that schnitzel refers to veal coated in breadcrumbs and fried and Wieners are those sausages, so the jury is still out on what this dish is actually called but I would make a guess and calling it a pork schnitzel seems about right, even if Weiner makes me laugh.

Pork Schnitzel

Obviously a weiner schnitzel is the preferred schnitzel, but the pork one’s not half bad either. It’s really just a glorified breaded pork chop and I had mine with slow roast garlic tomatoes, which recipe doesn’t feature here because it doesn’t technically belong in Austria. I had loads of tomatoes left over from the barbecue and fancied getting rid of them all at once. Its just some crushed garlic, basil and olive oil spooned onto some halved tomatoes and roasted in a low oven for a couple of hours – in case you were wondering. Instead, make yourself a green salad, spritz over some lemon juice and you’re more likely to find yourself in authentic Austria territory. Oh and using a veal escalope might help!

Serves 1

1 pork or veal chop

a plateful of fresh breadcrumbs

a plateful of plain flour

an egg, beaten

vegetable oil for frying

Salt and Pepper

Lay out three plates in front of you with flour in the first one, beaten egg in the second, and breadcrumbs in the third. Lay the chop on a chopping board, cover in cling film and bash to flatten with a rolling pin (or the cling film roll in my case). Try and get the chop as flat and skinny as possible. Season the chop with salt and pepper on both sides.

Then dip into the flour, shake off the excess. Then into the egg, shake off the excess. Then into the breadcrumbs, shake off the excess. Heat the oil in the pan and ensure that it will come half way up the chop when it’s in the pan. Fry the chop in the hot oil for a few minutes aside until just cooked. Serve with a green salad and a spritz of lemon juice if you want an Authentic Austrian Supper.

No. 12 – Australia – Make it a burker !

Choruses of “Gud ay Mate!” were met with my “Alright Darlin” in an Essex accent, in a hula lei and cowboy hat? Australia is one of those countries that just beg’s to have the piss taken out of it (no offense) but, I admit my attempt was absolutely shameful! I am of course talking about Skippy’s Aussie Barbeque Bonanza that graciously took place in Anthony and Noel’s back yard last week. Any excuse for an Alf Stuart impression, some (mildly) funny clothes and yet another piss up (no one could bring themselves to drink, let alone buy Fosters) and of course some vaguely Australian themed food…

                   

It had long been decided that Kangaroo would be the main event, but after weeks of anticipation Skippy decides not to show up, something about him being stuck in France and arriving a couple of weeks late. I arrived all excited about picking him up from the butchers to find that I had missed their call about the delivery delay and walked out of there disheartened and pissed off. However the show must go on; the sausages were bought, the burkers made, not to mention the rest of the A’s can’t be held up simply for a loin of Skippy, so a last minute barbequed shoulder of pork was his replacement. (I have previously joked about Babe being the new guest of honor, but I’m not sure if that’s too far?)

These photo’s are not my own, I’m sure you can tell, and are taken by my buddy Eoin Kirwan. I knew (well hoped) that he’d be taking photos of the night, so I didn’t bother taking any of me actually preparing the food. To be honest I didn’t have the time either and it can be very monotonous, not that I’m complaining. Most importantly though, I knew I wouldn’t include boring marinade rub photo’s when there would be endless great shots of the night. Turns out I was right. I cannot get over how amazing they are (that's why I went a bit over board -  they were all just too good to leave out). Check out his blog at http://visionsandmusings.blogspot.com/

Thanks to everyone who came (I won’t start mentioning names because I may leave one of you out and one of you may get in a huff, not to mention any names – Ronan). Thank you for throwing in fiver, it is much appreciated and means I can eat this week, score! A special thank you to Anthony and Noel who allowed me to take over their back yard for the night, and who had cleared up everything by the time I arrived the next day. It was unexpected but highly appreciated! Thanks again to Anthony Mannion for being manly and manning the barbeque (I’m loving it) with Luke (that’s right, I didn’t cook a thing) and dealing with all of the coal and lighting fluid etc. etc. that I don’t have a notion how to deal with.  Note, the unreal photo’s taken by (my unpaid) photographer Eoin Kirwan, cheers for those. They are savage and put all my other photo's to shame. Last but not least, Fuck you Skippy!

Make it a Burker


Dedicated to Brian Burke after he endured (I use that term loosely) staying up all night and arrived two hours early at the airport to discover the flight was delayed four hours. Come to think of it I’m not even sure that Burke even tasted a burker, who made it very clear he was “only here for the booze”. Spelling mistakes are not my own.

 “in dublin airport, been up all night, absotutely piss drunk....not only am i 2 hours early for my flight but its delayed by another 4 hours, the pubs cant open any sooner!!!

                                                             Brian Burke, 12 July at 07:33, Facebook.

Serves 10 – 12 Burkers

1 kg minced beef

2 eggs

1 tbsp of mustard

5 red onions, finely chopped

2 handfuls of breadcrumbs

2 cloves of garlic, finely chopped

1 tsp salt

2 tsp pepper

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Fry the onion and garlic in a frying pan until soft and allow to cool completely. In a large bowl combine all of the burker ingredients and enjoy squelching everything together with your hands. Divide into ten or twelve and make into 2 cm patties. Oil them a little, cover with cling film and allow them to chill in the fridge until needed.

Rip open a decent burker bun and load with the burker, tomatoes, coleslaw, lettuce leaves, sliced cheese, sliced onion, mayo and ketchup and have a napkin at the ready or at least be outdoors!

Chicken Drumsticks

I’m not really a big fan of chicken and tend to feel that a barbeque should be a real carnivore affair and a collaboration of serious meat eaters tending the Barbie.  But then again, there is something to be said for gnawing on a bone and a chicken drumstick is perfect for this positively carnivorous activity, as well as providing sweet, salty, crispy barbeque skin, yum. I precooked these in the oven at home first because I didn’t trust myself or anyone else for that matter to achieve thoroughly cooked chicken. Raw inside and a burnt crust would be inevitable and the burnt tarnish on the burkers was proof of this. They were just heated up and given an extra barbequey smokey skin. Needless to say you can do this with chicken wings, thighs or whatever although skin is essential.

Makes 15 drumsticks

15 drumsticks or about 2kg

2 tbsp sesame oil

4 tbsp honey

4 tbsp sweet chilli sauce

2 tbsp light soya sauce

a decent piece of ginger, grated

1 tsp english mustard.

Preheat the oven to 200 degrees. In a bowl mix all of the above ingredients except the chicken drumsticks. Put the drumsticks in a suitable baking tray and cover with the marinade. Mix everything thoroughly with you hand making sure it coats inch of the chicken. Pop the tray in the oven for about an hour or until the chicken skin is blistered and crispy. I kept turning them every twenty minutes or so to ensure that all side would be crispy on all sides.

Barbeque Pork Belly

Skippy’s understudy Babe, became the guest of honor after I got this recipe from an Australian griller’s website. It didn’t hurt that it’s really simple to prepare and takes virtually no looking after once it is on the barbeque (when I say barbeque I mean my oven, cheating I know). It just a shoulder of pork on the bone, rubbed all over with a dry barbeque rub and cooked slowly for eight to ten hours, at a very low temperature. The result is a really sweet, spicy and blackened crust on the outside and pork that falls and pulls apart with a fork on the inside. The shoulder bone comes out spotlessly clean. Savage in a soft bap with some hot sauce and coleslaw, the way the Aussie recommended it. It’s not exactly the type of thing you can pull out of the bag last minute but if you know in advance, it’s a great one to feed the masses - my poor mans version of a pig on a spit. It’s a certified crowd pleaser and plenty of oh’s and ah’s resonated around the back of Mannion’s and Noel’s when it was unveiled up. Fuck Skippy.

1 shoulder of pork

apple juice for basting

For the rub

2 tbsp Salt

¼ cup brown sugar

1 tbsp garlic powder

5 tbsp paprika

1 tbsp black pepper

1 tbsp chili powder

Preheat oven to 120 degrees. Mix the rub ingredients together and cover the pork shoulder entirely, rubbing it in with your fingers and getting it into every crevice. Put into the oven with a dish of water to stop the oven from drying out too much. Baste every hour or two hours with apple juice for between eight and ten hours. The outside will go completely black but this is normal.

Take out of the oven and wrap very well with tin foil. Let rest for two hours. Carve up and serve in soft baps with hot sauce and coleslaw. Delicious!!!!!

Potato Salad

This recipe is does not really deserve to be here as it is so simple but I do love a bit of potato salad and you’d be surprised the amount of people who ask what is in it! I do love a bit of potato salad in a burker (with extra mayonnaise of course). Double carbs – yes!

Cook potatoes and while still warm add a colossal amount of salt and pepper, chopped spring onion and half mix, half mash in as much mayonnaise as your conscious will allow you!!!

Coleslaw


Although potato salad is not for the calories conscious, you can eat as much of this particular coleslaw as you like. It involves my new favorite instrument of choice, a cheese grater, but not the one you’re thinking of, the one for making shavings of cheese (I didn’t even know I owned one of these bad boys, so have a look). I have made coleslaw using the grater attachment on my blender (using the blender means you get big massive lumps of onion and then pulverized carrot ), but chopping, slicing and shaving everything yourself means you get a far superior coleslaw. It’s really chunky, refreshing and zingy and nothing like the soggy mayonnaise drenched stuff you buy in the shops (although that does have its place). It always pissed me off how coleslaw does not count as one of the (rank) two salad and one meat rolls you get in Centra – you know the one I mean. This makes no sense to me. Finally, hurray for coleslaw that means we’re well on our way to our five a day!

½ white cabbage, shredded as thinly as possible by your good self

4 carrots, peeled and shredded using the cheese grater (careful of fingers)

2 onions, sliced as thinly as possible.

A few large tablespoons of greek yogurt

A splash of white wine vinegar

A couple tablespoons of maple syrup

Salt and Pepper

Throw all of the ingredients into a bowl and mix everything together using you hands to ensure all the veggies are coated in the dressing. Taste to see if the balance between zingy and sweet is right and add maple syrup and vinegar accordingly. The same can be said for the greek yogurt, if you like it creamier add some more. 

No. 11 - Arubaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!

I’m going to keep this short and sweet today. I’m still recovering from Skippy’s Aussie Barbecue last night (I did this recipe last week by the way), so thinking about food, talking about food, writing about food, just about anything but actually eating food is the last thing on my mind. Skippy didn’t quite make it in time but you’ll hear all about it in due course. By the way I am particularly proud of the title of this blog entry!

Upon researching the cuisine of Aruba I was faced with the prospect of yet another stew (its all these Caribbean islands), so you can imagine my excitement. What I fancied was a proper curry, and with India still a long way away, I managed to find one on the website, visitarbuba.com (you can check if you don't believe me). A proper curry, maybe not, but at least it gave me the excuse to make one. The recipe called for goat, water, curry powder, an onion and little else. For fear of ending up with a chip shop curry with some goat floating in it (although not a stew, it wasn’t exactly what I had in mind), I added a couple extra spices and a tin of tomatoes to boot. The result was a tasty curry that hit the spot but I couldn’t claim that it’s an authentic Aruban dish and to be honest, I don’t really care. Sometimes you just need a curry.

Now back to my hangover.

Goat Curry

10 goat chops

1 clove of garlic, minced 


2 tomatoes, quartered 


2 onions, chopped 


1 tin of chopped tomatoes

3 scallions, chopped 


1 chili, chopped


3 tbsp curry powder.

1 tbsp cumin

1 tbsp ground coriander

1 tbsp turmeric

Throw everything except the tinned tomatoes in a bowl and marinade for a half hour. Take out the meat and fry it in a couple tablespoons of oil until browned. Then add the rest of the marinade ingredients, the tin of tomatoes. Fill up the empty tin with water and bung that in too. Bring to the boil and simmer for 2 hours. Serve with yogurt, rice and naan bread. Perfectly Aruban.

No.10 - Armenia - the good, kebab and the ugly!

We're in double digits! Hurray! Also if you are regularly checking out Culinisation, will you please become an official follower of the blog – I’m unashamed to say it’s just to boost my ego!

Armenia was the first barbeque of the Culinisation gastro tour. I had assumed (as we all regretfully do) that it would be raining/windy/cold or all of the above and hadn’t even considered doing this one outside but it turned out that the menu and the fabulous weather called for it. I forgot to mention that this was at my home house, a.k.a my parents house, and it was a great luxury to have their kitchen to work in not to mention an actual outside for the barbeque in the first place. Fortunately for me, and just on queue my dad took the ‘dad role’ and responsibility of the barbeque so I could sit back and enjoy a glass of wine. The view’s not half bad either.

So this is in fact a family and Grange special edition of Culinisation complete with dodgy family photos! Expect plenty more to come as I am heading back to the home house a.s.a.p to help my sleep deprived Mum babysit her new puppy - who is turning out to be as much trouble as a new born.

Also is it a crime to repeat these for Skippy’s Aussie BBQ next week? Get back to me.

Lulu Kebabs

These are just the ticket if you’re doing a barbeque for some friends – they’re cheap, easy to make, obviously tasty and they make a great alternative to a burnt sausage. Also who doesn’t love a kebab (and I mean a real kebab) with a nice warm wrap, crunchy salad and some garlicky yogurt? I used minced beef because, if you don’t know by now - I’m not exactly loaded, but if you want to you can do half beef and half lamb or just all lamb – whatever tickles your fancy. This work is made light if you’ve a blender, just bang all the ingredients in and whizz it up. My parents’ blender is Stone Age and weighs a tone so I just chopped everything my hand. As usual I got a little carried away with the wine, the mixture was therefore too wet, the kebabs refused stay on the sticks and became, well sausages.

Yum and great before a few drinks and not just after them!

Serves 4

500g minced beef or lamb

1 onion, finely chopped

1 red bell pepper, finely chopped

a splash of wine (careful)

a tablespoon of tomato puree

a handful of parsley, chopped

a handful of basil, chopped

a clove of garlic, chopped

a teaspoon of cumin

salt and pepper

Mix everything together in a bowl once chopped or throw everything in a blender and whiz up. Divide the mixture into 12 in the bowl with a knife and press a twelfth onto the wooden skewers (I soaked mine before hand to prevent them burning to no avail. You could even say to hell with the skewers and make them into burgers, sausages - whatever shape you fancy.) Let them firm up in the fridge for half an hour and barbeque on a hot charcoal fire. For times you’d need to ask my dad.

Armenian Salad

This is another simple salad (although I know all salads are simple). The feta and olives make it worthwhile and its great in a wrap with the kebabs. It’s my kind of salad – it doesn’t feel the need to add lettuce.

Serves 4

2 tomatoes, wedged

1 red onion, sliced thinly

a couple of spring onions, sliced.

a bell pepper of your choice (not green), sliced

a good handful of black olives (or Kalamata olives if you can find them), halved

feta cheese, crumbled to taste (I’d say roughly 100g)

a few basil leaved, chopped

some parsley, chopped

Dressing:

juice of half a lemon

same quantities of extra virgin olive oil

1 garlic clove, crushed

tbsp of sugar

Salt and pepper

I don’t think I really need to tell you what to do, do I?

Garlic and Yogurt Dip

I also made a garlic and yogurt dip. I have no idea if its Armenian or not, I don’t really care because it’s a must to go with the kebab.

 ½ clove of garlic, crushed

a cucumber, diced

½ pot of greek yogurt (250g or there abouts)

salt and pepper

Same as above

No.9 - Don't burst on me Argentina!

Feet up in front of the telly, a colossal pile of my new favorite thing - empanadas with a spicy tomato dip, juice dripping down my face and arms, uncontrollable mmmmms and lets be honest, my idea of heaven. Spicy beef, olives and a hard-boiled egg all wrapped up in a puff pastry paradise – what more could you want? A glass of wine maybe? Done.

What more can I say? Beware though, they are extremely addictive!

Empanadas

These are the most worthwhile thing I've made so far. I love anything wrapped in pastry but there really are something else, not difficult just a little time consuming but fun at the same time (for me anyway) because they're so damned cute. My inexperience with pastry (in Argentina they use a kind of ‘over and pinch’ motion that I neither had the patience nor the knack for) and the fact that I crammed them with filling meant that they inevitably burst open in the oven. This doesn’t phase me in the slightest as I haven’t yet heard of anyone complain of too much filling in their pie. True to my word (see Armenia), I bought the pastry this time and will definitely be doing so in future. God bless Mr. Jus-rol!

Makes about 12

400g minced beef

1 onion, diced

I clove of garlic, minced

2 tbsp of cumin, maybe more

2 tbsp of smoked paprika, maybe more

1 tsp cayenne pepper

a dash of hot sauce, to taste

about 10 olives, sliced

2 hard boiled eggs, sliced

salt and pepper

1 packet of puff pastry

1 egg, for glazing

water for sealing edges

Soften the onions and garlic in a pan. Throw in the mince and allow to brown, then in goes the cayenne, cumin, paprika and a dash of hot sauce – do all of this to taste. Note: I added way more than in the photo (below) afterwards - spices in Argentina are seemingly more potent than spices from Tesco so I just lashed more in.

Roll out your puff pastry to as large as you can manage (I used the trusty mop rolling pin again) and cut out circles of pastry using any suitable implement. You can do the empanadas as large or a little as you like.

Pile a ‘small’ amount of the meat mixture in the centre of the pastry circles, then top with a slice of egg and a few slices of olive. With your fingers or a brush wet the edges of the pastry and proceed to fold the pastry over to create a half moon, making sure to poke and prod the filling to persuade it to stay in. Seal the parcels as best you can by folding the pastry over itself and pinching. Place on a baking tray and wash with beaten egg. Bake in the oven for about 15 minutes at 180 degrees. Eat with an empanada in one hand and a spoon for loading it with tomato in the other.

Spicy Tomato Dip

This is really just chopped up tomatoes with some lemon juice, pepper, salt and a chili but it is absolutely necessary to go with the empanadas. I found a recipe online that served them with a cooked tomato sauce but I thought cooking ripe tomatoes was too much of a shame (and truth be told, too much effort) so I made this bad boy.

Enough for the 12 empanadas

4 tomatoes, roughly chopped

I chili, deseeded and finely chopped

juice of ½ lemon

Salt and Pepper

Lash everything in a bowl and mix.